Chromosome Testing, Gender Stats and Putting Your Penis Where Your Mouth Is.

Why don't YOU show me YOUR chromosome test?!?

Oh, you wanna talk to me about my gender? Fine, show me the results of your most recent chromosome test. Show me how many ‘X’s are on there? Any ‘Y’s?

Go on, dig em out. I’ll wait.

And while you’re at it go grab the results of your most recent hormonal test too. Oh, you haven’t done one of them? It’s just a blood test, nothing to be cagey about. It’s so easy to get. What’s your nanomoles per litre? Don’t you know? I mean, you’ve got opinions about other people’s bodies I just assumed you had the receipts for you own.

Well, what about your most recent genital examination?

No, sorry regular cervical screenings or testicular exams don’t count. Those are checking for other things and yes, some gender information could be inferred but it’s not definitive. There’s the implication of a genital configuration but it doesn’t rule out the presence of others as well. You get me? Just because you had your plums fondled by a doctor to check for lumps doesn’t eliminate that there may be a vagina also present. Sorry, it needs to specifically be from a doctor checking your gender identity. I mean all those athletes had to do it, what’s the big deal? It’s just some documentation that’s easy to carry on your person at all times? If you’ve got nothing to hide, why would you be so concerned?

So, you don’t have one of them either?

Well, what do you have? Other than opinions on people’s bodies of course. Clearly, you’ve plenty of them, but do you have anything at all that’s concrete? Other than the feeling deep inside that you ARE the gender that you identify with. I mean, you can’t just include feelings, can you? Right? I know, I know, you’re certain that the gender you were assigned is immutable, unchangeable, ordained by the gods, but as you’ve reminded everyone over and over and over “feelings aren’t facts”… so here we are. No? So…. you don’t have anything other than your feelings?

Okay fine, just tell me what gender you imagine yourself when you masturbate.

Oh, I apologise. Too much? Too personal? Terribly sorry. I mean, these are all standard tests and examinations of OUR bodies. Asking what exists inside our skulls when trying to find some small joy from our genitals has been a pretty standard line of questioning to both children and adults alike when seeking basic medical care. Have you never had that before? I’m SO sorry. It looks like I’ve made an assumption, and I sincerely apologize. I just didn’t think that you’d find it invasive or demeaning. It was thoughtless of me. Maybe I’ve just become desensitised to some of the things transgender people are routinely subjected to. Please accept my most humble apologies, I just imagined that you, with your big opinions, with your certainty about your own gender identity and the gender identity of others, that you would… you know… be able to withstand the same probing that we endure.

I didn’t realise you were so sensitive about it.

Well, seeing as though I HAVE been subject of some of these tests, examinations and detailed discussions about my psychological state as it relates to my gender, I guess then I won’t be discussing it with you? Of course, at least until you’ve jumped through some of the hoops you consider to be so reasonable for me to have had surmounted, right? Once you get some of that done, sure, I’d be happy to discuss the extraordinary intersection of gender, biological sex and sexuality with you. But right now… well… you aren’t really equipped to be a part of this discussion, now are you?

Sorry, sweetie.

Unless you were coming to me in the spirit of openness without any preconceived notions? Oh, that’s a totally different matter then! God, I could talk to you til cow-fursonas come home about all permutations and variations that stretch into the infinity that is human thought and experience of “gender”. The glorious, magnificent, joyous tapestry that weaves our understandings of the physical, mental, spiritual into the world. Oh, I’d absolutely LOVE to talk about all of it with you… But if you want to enter into this with some established notions of “there are only two genders. period.” then I guess… no, thank you?

You don’t get to have that conversation with me.

If you really want to have that opinion you should put your penis where your mouth is and have it examined by a doctor to confirm that it falls into the the range that’s considered “male”. Go on, stick your dick in the Phall-O-Meter and find out. While you’re at it get your bloods done. I’ll show you my hormone levels if you show me yours. Go get your chromosomes sequenced. I mean it. Yeah, it would really suck for you if you discovered that you had Turner Syndrome, or Klinefelter Syndrome, Chapelle Syndrome or 46XX/46XY Mosaicism in which the individual is a genetic chimera, composed of cells of both genders. Not because any of these conditions make you “less of a legitimate person” as your big feelings seem to imply, but because maybe, just maybe you might have to face the fact that your conception of the binary is wrong.

The big “gender reveal”? Biological sex is not “binary”. Never has been. It’s “Bimodal”.

If you’ve forgotten your primary school math and what the “mean”, “median” and “mode” of measuring central tendencies are, I’ll remind you. The “mode” is the most commonly occurring instance in your value set. Not the average, not the mid-point when arranged… but the item that appears the most. And when it comes to biological sex there are two “most common” results (in case you aren’t keeping up here we designate them with an “M” and an “F”). Hence “bimodal” because there are a huge number of other instances that are clearly NOT these results. To be clear I’m not talking about "gender identity” here. That’s the discussion where you get to give your opinion about who is the breadwinner and who’s in the kitchen making the dinner. I’m talking about the functionality of the way your cells in your body developed in utero. So, if in your opinion, life starts at conception then ho, boy you are in for a treat to learn about all the ways in which a person can be “male”, “female”, both AND neither.

1 in 50 have a chromosomal/hormonal variance making them “intersex” (or DSD).

Most don’t even know it. You, certain in your gender identity, sitting there reading this… there’s a one in fifty chance that the very building blocks of your cells, your entire being are not what you think they are. 2% of people. That’s about… 160 million people globally. That’s just shy of 7 million Americans. Just shy of 1.4 million people in the UK. Half a million Australians.

Isn’t math fun!

And I’m just talking chromosomes here. I’m just talking about the parameters of “biological sex” that people keep waving the flag about, to say nothing of the psychological or social constructs of “gender”. I mean… If you can’t even get your understanding of the biology correct, it doesn’t bode well for you having much chance with the more complicated stuff like “what is a woman?”.

So, if you wanna come at me about my right to use which bathroom, with your preconceived middle-school understanding of biology, fine. Show me your papers. Show me your blood work. Show me the letter from your doctor saying you whipped your dick out for both science and personal certainty. Show me your proof. Prove to me that you have any right at all to question my gender or how it exists in the world.

Or is all this just a “feeling” you have?

–S