I Think We Unleashed Something When We Joked About Destroying a Man in Bed

Sometimes my bullshit becomes truth.

Dearest Abominations, the spiciest content is going behind the paywall. So, buy a girl a drink first and remember, lovers… I’ll ALWAYS give you a taste.

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“Well, you could always wrap your arms and legs around him from behind, holding him in place while I go down on him?”

Our eyes met, this gorgeous woman who I’ve only just began the process of intertwining my life with, and we knew something had shifted. In that moment we knew that I’d accidentally stumbled into something so astoundingly horny, so precisely in our respective wheel-houses-of-want but had no idea how deal with it.

Lovers… I blue-screen’d our brains out.

“Um… okay. That’s… yeah that’s something we could, ah… yeah, something like that.”

He was an old friend of hers I’d only just met. Sweet, handsome, significantly shorter than both of us. I blurted out the provocation to this glorious woman as the two of us strode into the night, having left the confines of the crowded bar. “My God!”, she said, “we’d ruin him if we did that. How could he possibly come back from that… from us… taking turns, one of us holding him down while the other…”

We had to stop talking about it.

That was the moment we knew that something had been unleashed. That image in our minds, so elegantly simple in its horniness, could not be dispelled. Try as we might to put it out of our heads, it kept coming up, again and again with more and more embellished detail.