Sit With Your Discomfort: Transgender Day of Remembrance 2025
Content Warning: Descriptions of violence against transgender people.
The date comes around again so quickly.
20th of November. Transgender Day of Remembrance. The day we take to acknowledge those lost to us by acts of violence.
281 trans and gender diverse people were reported murdered this year.
Counted from the 1st of October 2024 until the 30th of September 2025, this is just the people that we know who were murdered. It does nothing to acknowledge those lost who were buried along with the truth of their trans-ness. It does nothing to tally the dead lost to suicide or medical neglect. It does nothing to count those who vanished from the world because of an active campaign of hostility to erase us.
No, it only counts the ones we know for certain were lost to acts of violence.
While We Count Our Dead, You Should Count Your Blessings
Unsurprisingly, the formal list is a brutal read. So many instances of transgender people being hunted, stalked, literally assassinated in their homes, at work, in their cars. Every single one breaks my heart, but I can’t shake the ones that happened in places where they should have been safe, the ones killed by people they should have been safe with.
My own Domestic Violence Order was granted to me just seven days after last year’s day of remembrance. A single piece of paper, stamped and signed by a magistrate. A single piece of paper stating that my ex-lover was under order to be “of good behaviour” and they were not to “commit acts of domestic violence” against me.
Two years of the flimsiest protection after they chased me through a car park in their car, clipping me as I fled. Two years of protection after they stole a trans woman’s identity to hunt me, to try and lure me out into public.
The truth is that there’s nothing stopping them doing it again.
Reading this year’s list of the trans siblings we’ve people lost, it’s clear to me that it is a blessing to walk down the street and not fear what may be coming at you from behind. It is a blessing to not feel fear your own home, to not feel fear in the arms of your lover. And I don’t mean “feeling safe”, I mean simply the absence of fear.
As I write this, I wonder how many take that absence for granted?
I took the time to read the hundreds of entries and list them here in this format, not to diminish them, not to whittle them down to a single line, but to show you just how awful things have gotten for trans and gender-diverse people.
The number 281 is meaningless if we forget that they are more than just names. These people are constellations of experiences, of memories, of joys and griefs great and small, unique and mundane. They are more than what was done to them and grouping them in a single number makes it sound like one single “bad thing” that happened, like a plane crash or a natural disaster, and not the countless tragedies that led to their deaths.
I hope you can sit with the discomfort.
In no particular order, here are some of the people taken from us.
Rayra was shot.
Saba was shot.
Babalú was shot.
Ren was shot, she died in hospital.
Petra was shot to death.
Soraya was shot to death.
Betsy was shot to death.
Mónica was shot to death.
Grecia was shot to death in the street.
Pétala was shot to death in the street.
Jhessyka was shot three times.
Sofia was shot four times.
Wendolyn was shot in head numerous times.
Monalisa was shot by a man in the street.
Jeane was shot in the street.
Cam was shot. She was found in a yard near her home.
Rick had a mental health episode. The police were called, and they shot him to death. The officers didn’t attempt to deescalate the situation.
Ganga was shot while she shopped in a clothing store.
Rafaela was found shot to death in a vacant lot.
Nikhole was shot seven times.
Jonny was shot in the street. It was New Year’s Eve.
Erika was standing in her driveway. A motorcycle approached, ridden by two people. They shot her to death and fled.
Berinjela was shot by two men on a motorcycle.
J was shot by a man on a motorcycle.
Shagufta was returning from a music event with their transgender friends. Two motorcycles approached and the riders opened fire on their car, killing her and injuring the others.
Valeria was executed in the street by men riding a motorcycle.
Bayron was stopped by two men on a motorcycle and shot to death.
Catalina was shot dead in her car by two men on a motorcycle.
Jadiclecia was approached by two men on a motorcycle. They shot her in the back ten times.
Isabela was shot by two people on a motorcycle. She died in hospital.
Rayane was approached by two men on a motorcycle. They shot her to death.
Andrea and her partner were targeted in a bar. The men approached them and shot them both in the back and head.
Carla was shot to death in the street. The gang members who targeted her left a note with her body.
Monserrat worked in a bar. Two men arrived and immediately shot her, leaving a threatening message.
Jimena was at the gym when the men hunting her arrived and shot her to death.
Shaira was hunted down by a man. When he caught up to her, he shot her to death on the side of the highway.
Ali was a radio presenter and activist. She was shot several times in a targeted execution.
Kika was hunted by armed men. They entered the beauty salon where she worked and shot her to death.
Kasí was shot to death. She was found in the front yard of her home.
Rosa was shot to death in the parking lot of the store where she worked.
Enileidis was shopping when the men hunting her arrived and shot her to death.
Chabela was at work when the men hunting her arrived and shot them to death.
Ra’lasia was shot dead in a driveway. She was found by her friends.
Priscila was shot dead by hooded men. She was having dinner with friends in a bar when they found her and killed her in front of them.
Alana was the first trans woman to run for a seat in her local city council. She was shot dead in a restaurant when dining with her friends.
Zulma was shot to death at work. She was a hairdresser.
Diany was shot at the bar where she worked. Armed men entered the venue and killed her when they saw her running.
Carolina was shot to death. She was found with her hands and feet tied.
Onyx was shot to death in their bedroom by their adoptive father.
Ainee, Asma and Samina were approached in the street. All three were shot to death. The assailants were not identified.
Michelle was chased by a car. They shot her to death on the side of the road.
Jay was DV support worker. They were run over while walking their dog.
Blair was hit by a car when riding her bike.
Hoonee was hit by a car, the driver fled the scene.
Geminis was hit by a car. The driver fled and she died in hospital.
Kyla was hit by a car.
Larissa was hit by a car.
Paula was a nurse. She argued with a man, so he ran her down with his car.
Hope was hit by multiple cars on the highway. Only one person stopped to help.
Vanesa was found on the highway. She had been hit by a car and left to die.
San was attacked on a walking trail behind the university. Their attacker took their phone so they couldn’t call for help. When they were found and taken to hospital it was too late.
Lionel was found in a park; the police wouldn’t specify the cause of their death.
Shakira was found floating in the river.
Juana, a well-known activist, was robbed and killed in her home.
J was dumped at the reservoir.
Daira was murdered. The details have not been released.
Samantha was killed. No details were listed.
Amanda was homeless. The cause of her death wasn’t listed.
Toni was placed in a female prison. Their cause of death is not listed.
Nacho died while in police custody. No cause was given.
Chayene was homeless when she was killed. There is no known reason for why.
Cintia was homeless and had been sexually assaulted. She was found dead outside a municipal building.
Valeria was missing for two weeks before she was found murdered.
Rubi went missing for four days.
Carol went missing and was found after four days. The circumstances of her murder are not listed.
Churris was at a resort. They were found in the water under suspicious circumstances
Leighley was a doctor. She was found dead in her home when she didn’t to show up at work.
Katia was an activist. Her body was found on a dirt road.
La Monse was found in a field.
Ravena was killed in the street.
Carol was killed in the street.
Evellyn was suffocated. She was found in the street, tied up and wrapped in a sheet.
Rafaela was strangled to death while incarcerated.
Luane was strangled by a pastor in a hotel after he discovered she was trans.
Ayub was strangled to death in an abandoned warehouse.
Amanda was strangled to death.
Wendelly was strangled to death.
Jota was strangled to death behind a bar.
Anjali was strangled to death. They dumped her on the side of the highway
Hillary was strangled to death. They dumped her in a field.
Kajal was strangled to death in her home. The main suspect in her murder committed suicide.
Adige was strangled to death. She had refused to have sex with her killer.
Thitikarn was strangled to death. The police are still searching for her boyfriend.
Leyla was strangled to death in her home by her partner.
Pâmela was hanged by her partner and his brother.
Giovani argued with his brother. He stabbed him to death.
Degai argued with her father about her transition and desire to divorce from her arranged marriage. Her father shot her.
Sogand was told not to attend her cousins wedding as it would dishonour her family. When she did attend her uncle shot her to death.
A Tiwi sistergirl was stabbed in the back by her uncle. In accordance with first nations traditions her name is withheld.
Sanjana was stabbed to death by their partner.
Michelle was stabbed to death by her partner.
Bruna was tied up and stabbed by her ex-partner.
Khloe was stabbed 14 times by her partner.
Elizabeth was stabbed 59 times by her partner after they fought.
Guadalupe was beaten to death by her partner inside her home.
Rita was doused in fuel and set on fire by her partner who also died in the attack.
Natasha was burned alive by her partner. Her body was found under a bridge.
Quanesha was run off the road and shot to death by her ex-partner.
JJ went missing. Their boyfriend was charged with their murder.
Wafa was a dancer. Her ex-boyfriend tried to abduct her. When she fled, he shot her to death as she ran.
Kelsey was punched by her partner. When she asked a witness to call the police her partner shot her.
Carmen was murdered by her boyfriend and his lover, a police officer.
Disneys was murdered by her partner.
Indira was raped, murdered and dismembered by her partner.
Annu was found under a bridge with her throat slit. Of the two people arrested for her murder, one was her ex-husband who was extorting money from her.
Camila argued with a man in the street. He stabbed her.
Sonakshi was stabbed.
Fidy was stabbed.
Bablu was stabbed.
Jennifer was stabbed.
Phuwanon was stabbed.
Tanushree was stabbed.
Nawar was beaten and stabbed.
Mirella was stabbed to death.
Micaela was stabbed to death.
Palwasha was attacked. They slit her throat.
J was stabbed by his neighbour during an argument.
Débora was stabbed. She died in hospital.
Dylan was stabbed and dumped in the river.
Chila was stabbed and dumped in a canal
Laisa was stabbed and dumped on the side of the road.
Alejandra was found on the riverbank.
Alicia was found on the riverbank with razor wounds.
Ruby was stabbed and found by the highway.
Kaile argued with a man. He stabbed her to death.
Fernanda was stabbed to death. She had numerous wounds on her face and head.
Cris was stabbed to death in her beauty parlour.
Tamara was a nurse. She was stabbed in the street.
Thayla was found stripped and stabbed in a field.
Karis was stabbed in the neck and chest.
Bianca was stabbed more than ten times and strangled.
Andreína was stabbed with a screwdriver by a man on New Year’s Eve.
Gabriela was stabbed. She had been missing for seven months. Her remains wouldn’t be identified for another two months.
Grampola was stabbed on her birthday. She died in hospital. She had turned 41.
Raquelly was stabbed to death on her birthday. She had turned 24.
Claudia was out in a bar when she was stabbed to death. Some accounts claim that the perpatrator had previously committed similar attacks.
Moisa was stabbed in the street. She fled but died before being found.
Jericho met someone at a party. They stabbed her multiple times and robbed her.
Tailyn was beaten to death. She was found tied up in a client’s house.
Solange was shot to death by a client who refused to pay for sex.
Paola was stabbed to death by a client who refused to pay for sex.
Samylla was shot to death by a client who refused to pay for sex.
María was murdered by a client in a hotel room on Trans Day of Visibility.
Sam was held captive in a motel for months. During this time his captors sexually assaulted him with a table leg and broom handles. They eventually beat him until he died.
Mayte, an activist leader was tortured to death, their hands and feet bound.
Thayla was stabbed, her hands and feet tied. Her attacker had cut her head off, placing it next to her body.
Gulalai died after being shot in the back and strangled.
Hasini was attacked. Their killer dismembered them.
E was stabbed after an argument. Her attacked tried to dismember her.
Naira was tortured to death. She was found four days later in an abandoned lot.
Santrosa had their hands and feet bound before they were beheaded.
Nazak and Salmanay were murdered in their home. Held at gun point they were executed with a sword.
Rosario was found burned in her bedroom. They had been robbed.
Pamela was attacked and set on fire. She died in hospital two days later with burns to 90% of her body.
Ayla was tortured and burned. Her body was found in a shallow grave.
Jully was found in the woods. She had a gag in her mouth and burn marks on her back.
Kendra was an activist. She agreed to meet a man and then disappeared. She was found in the street with her limbs cut off.
Shalani was found dismembered.
Jennifer had been kidnapped four months prior. She was found in a mass grave, bound and gagged.
Arina was murdered by a married couple. They dismembered her body and dumped it next to the river in two suitcases.
Kajal was beaten to death and dumped in a quarry.
Mayla was beaten to death and dumped in a field.
Florencia was beaten with a pipe on the side of the highway.
Rebeca was beaten to death with a piece of wood on Trans Day of Visibility.
Yumiko was beaten to death in the street.
Luana was beaten to death in the street.
Neuritânia was stoned to death in the street.
Francisco was beaten to death.
Joselinne was beaten to death.
Shantal was beaten to death.
Marcela was beaten, she was found wrapped in a tarpaulin on the pavement next to a school.
Sara was beaten by five men, who later threw her into the river.
Christina was found beaten and strangled behind the laundromat by a client when they discovered she was trans.
Ezra was admitted to a male migrant centre. She was beaten and suffered deprovision that led to her death.
Kierra was beaten. She was found in the river.
Jessy was beaten. She died in hospital.
Nubia was beaten to death. Her daughter found her.
Linda was a victim of sex trafficking. When she found a way to call the police they arrived and shot her by mistake. She died in hospital.
Shila was a trans rights activist. People broke into her home and slit her throat.
Daniela was shot. When her body was found she still had a gag in her mouth.
Aubrey had been missing for six years. Her family didn’t approve of her transition.
Dandara was placed in a men’s prison. Her cellmate strangled her to death.
Ervianna was found dead after having been missing for three days.
Waranan was found in a hotel. Her attacker had mutilated her, cutting her open.
Kira was one of eleven people killed when a vehicle ploughed into pedestrians during a street festival.
Titli was shot. Her birth family refused to accept her remains. Her found family arranged her funeral.
Bruna and her partner were kidnapped. She was found stabbed to death next to the highway.
Alexis was the winner of a modelling competition. She was found dead after being missing for four days.
Ali father’s did not approve of their transition. He electrocuted them and beat them with a shovel.
Natalia had received threats. She was found dead in her home.
Sheik was shot and killed in her home after a man forced his way inside.
Kildery was found beaten in the bathroom of her home. She died in the ambulance on the way to hospital.
Chidia was shot to death in her home.
Amyri was shot to death in her home.
Joana was shot to death in her home.
Asady was shot to death in her home.
Duda was shot to death in her home.
Gouri was shot to death in her home.
Rosario was beaten to death in her home.
Eliarlan was shot to death when men broke into her home.
Nida was stabbed to death in her home. She was stabbed in the face and throat.
María was beaten to death in her home. She was a dancer.
Kakay was shot to death in her home by two men who broke in. She was a well-known social media influencer.
Christine was found dead in her home. Neighbours say they heard an argument.
Tahiry argued with a man. He shot her, leaving her face down in the snow outside the apartment complex.
Danielly took a man home. He killed her.
Karmin was shot and robbed by a man shed invited home for a date.
Ana was stabbed to death in her home after a man forced his way inside.
Ángelo was stabbed to death in his home. He had 42 stab wounds and was only found because his neighbours saw his blood seeping from the dwelling.
Ketlen was found dismembered in her own home. Her neighbours became worried after not seeing her for some time. They found her in bags.
Rosa was found with her hands tied in the street. She had been shot to death.
Alexandra was shot.
Shy’Parius was shot.
Vivia was shot.
René was shot to death.
Sabir was shot to death.
Laura was shot in the street.
Chio was shot in the street.
Any was shot to death in the street.
Madhu was an activist. She was shot to death.
Ángel was executed in the street. Her perpetrators fled and escaped.
Dahlia was an activist. She was shot by military personnel during a demonstration.
Lorena was chased by a man. She ran to a house for help, but he caught up to her and shot her.
Paulina was shot ten times by men who waited for her outside her work.
Zaibi was performing at a wedding. A man she knew shot her to death.
Enileidis was shopping when the men targeting her arrived and shot her to death.
Chabela was at work when the men targeting her arrived and shot them to death.
Kamora was found by her mother, half-naked and shot in the head.
Dream was found by the police. She died in hospital from gunshot wounds.
Valeria was approached by two men on a motorcycle. They shot her to death outside her home.
Blaze was shot to death by a police officer. He was 17 and homeless.
Karen was killed by a police officer’s stary bullet.
Tiara was an activist. She was shot to death in a motel.
Kaitoria arranged a date with a man. He shot and killed her on Trans Day of Visibility.
Don’t let go of your discomfort.
Don’t dismiss it as “too hard to think about.”
Yes, there are so many awful things happening in the world right now. Awful things are happening to you, to us, to everybody. There is so much in the world that needs to be fixed. So please, amongst it all, please don’t forget us because the things that are done to us are too uncomfortable to think about.
Please, just sit with it.
–S
Thank you! You did what I couldn't. I started. I got about halfway through. Then I started crying. Hard. Ugly. And I just...stopped, then let delete do the rest. I, then did a small write up, something I could digest, for the time being. I don't know what I wrote, and probably won't look at it until next Nov 20. So, thank you for naming them. Let us all sit in discomfort.
I couldn't read every single line. But I scrolled and stopped, scrolled and stopped. One, killed by their father. Another dismembered. Another buried in a shallow grave. Just a few that jumped off the page and onto my chest. I found myself thinking "these can't all be just here, they must be from all over the world" - and whether that is true doesn't matter, what matters is my instinctive need for MY world to be safer, better, more progressive than the rest. Because I'm human, and we want to feel safe. And we should feel safe. Every single one of us.